One of the greatest joys of parenthood is getting to be a part of the joy and exhilaration of sharing new experiences with your children. But what if sharing in all of our child’s experiences were impeding their growth? What if not allowing our children to be free to have their own experiences means their independence becomes limited and their self-confidence doesn’t develop to its full potential?
So why is it so important for your children to have experiences without you?
When kids have the opportunity to explore on their own and interact with their environment, they are better able to grow and develop all aspects of their personhood, including physical, intellectual, social and emotional.
According to the book, Child’s Connection to the World, Child Development specialists have learned that from birth 
children are attuned to experiment and learn from each experience. This interaction develops their personality, confidence and helps them become independent children’. To better understand how children mature through experiences, Child Development experts use the analogy of “scaffolding”.
When building a structure, scaffolding is put up to support the structure and builders gradually take down the scaffolding as the building becomes more and more able to stand on its own. Just like scaffolding, a parent provides the support the child needs to explore and learn from their environment successfully and productively. As the child matures and develops mastery, the parent must gradually remove themselves from experiences to allow the child to become more independent. If the child is not quite ready, the support is reinstated and then gradually withdrawn once again.
One of the driving motivators behind creating our Overnight French Camps is to help students learn and grow from their own experiences. Parents have found that these Overnight Camps also helped them “let go” of their children in a safe, supportive and educational environment.
If you’re like most parents, you might be wondering: “But how do I let my children have their own experiences without them making mistakes?”
One of the big reasons parents find it hard to let their kids have their own experiences, is the fear that their children might fail. The truth is, failure is inevitable but it doesn’t mean it has to be a bad thing. Of course you want the best for your child, so when you witness your child on the brink of making a mess or a mistake, you want to be there to help cushion the blow. But when you do this, your child misses out on the opportunity to learn limits, adjust and learn from mistakes. And you miss out on the joy of learning how to raise independent children.
Tweetable: “Mistakes are the stepping stones to success” @CampTournesol
In psychologist Madeline Levine’s book, Teach Your Children Well: Parenting For Authentic Success, she says that letting kids fail is “one of the most critical things” parents can do if they want to raise independent children. Because learning from mistakes is an important skill that helps kids build resilience and mature into happy, confident and successful adults.
Now I want to hear from you:
Let me know in the comments below how you feel about letting your children have experiences without you. Is this something you practice on a regular basis? Why or why not?
